Hum it, Deuce

Baseball truly is a kids’ game, and two videos circulating around the Internet express that sentiment more than words can. In two separate videos, MLB pitchers Gio Gonzalez and Hyun-Jin Ryu are seen playing catch with kids.

Think back to when you were a kid. What major League Baseball star from that era would you have loved to play catch with from the stands, just like the kids in these videos? For me? Dave Winfield.

The Rx My Car Needs

My dad once looked the Washington Nationals cap on my head and asked, "Why are wearing a Walgreens cap?"

Back in the summer, I relayed that story to my friend, Chad, and he has teased me about it sense.

Today, I see my home state, Virginia, is now offering a Washington Nationals license plate, well that is if the state receives 450 prepaid applications.

Make that 449 because I'm sending in my application today, so I can, as the news release states, show off my "Natitude."

With the good feeling the Nats left us with – I'm talking about the season as a whole, not the dreadful game 5 of the NLDS – I'm sure those 449 applications will be no problem, particularly in the Northern part of the commonwealth.

Sure, it's an additional $25 to my annual vehicle registration, but if I can show off my Natitude on the mean streets around Southwest Virginia, it’ll totally be worth the extra cash.

I'm sure I'd waste that $25 someplace else, anyway.

And you know, I'm guessing I'll one the only person in Southwest Virginia with the plates. This, for some strange reason, is Braves country.

I emailed the rendered image of the Curly Dub plate to my wife, asking her if she wanted a set for her sporty minivan.

Her reply: "No. I don't want people to think I'm a pharmacist."

Eveyone's a wiseguy.

Opening Day is Scheduled; I Feel Sick

Flash forward a couple of months. It's 7:55 a.m., Monday, April 1.

I make a phone call.

Hello, boss. (Cough)

Oh, hello Chad. You don't sound so good.

Yeah, I can't go to work today. I've been sick all weekend. I think I need one more day to rest.

Ok, feel better soon and take care of you.

Thank (Cough. Cough.) you.

Click!

Hehehehehehehehehe.

I did it. I'm off work.

What?

No, I'm not celebrating April Fool's Day. (Who takes off work for that?)

I'm playing hooky April 1 because it's opening day of the 2013 baseball season. And the Yankees are hosting the Red Sox at the Stadium. First pitch, to be tossed, I'm guessing, by CC Sabathia, is scheduled for 1:05 p.m., and the contest will be broadcast on ESPN.

I love opening day. It's usually a bit cold at most ballparks, which doesn't bother me since I'm sitting in my cozy man cave watching on a 52-inch TV. But the site of long sleeves throws off the baseball aesthetic a bit for me. But not in a way I can't enjoy the game.

I still remember a few years ago seeing Kelly Clarkson singing the national anthem on opening day at the Stadium. She looked very cold and uncomfortable all bundled up in a blue Yankees jacket.

I still have no idea why Kelly Clarkson, who's from Texas, was singing the national anthem at Yankee Stadium.

Back to the cold for a second. I totally dig the look of fans bundled up and freezing in October. Being a Yankee fan 34 years – yes, I've been having an affair with the Nationals since they moved to D.C. – I guess I've gotten used to that site and, with the Yankees playoff accomplishments the last 15 or so years, have associated the frozen fan look with success.

But no matter the temperature in the Bronx, or at any of the other Major League cities on opening day, I embrace the excitement. This year will be particularly nice with the Yankees playing the hated Red Sox.

Yuck, the Red Sox.

They make me sick.

Hello, boss. I may need take off Tuesday also.

Here's a Story Where a Nationals Fan Says the Braves Signing B.J. Upton is Bad News

B.J. Upton

I keep reading the contract agreement the Atlanta Braves struck with outfielder B.J. Upton today is a sweet deal for the Braves, but I'm not really seeing it that way. Sure Upton has some power and provides a right-handed bat in the Braves' lineup chock full of lefties, but the center fielder's numbers are a bit sporadic.

Old-school stat guys might yell tommyrot at a .246 hitter – that's what the 28-year old hit last season in Tampa – getting a contract worth $75 million over five years. And I tend to agree.

Upton hasn't hit .300 since 2007 – he hit exactly that number that year – and he hasn't come close to sniffing that mark sense. Upton's on-base percentage is nothing great, but his OPS remains strong.

You can also argue that Upton is a good stolen base guy, and you'd be right. He swiped 31 this season, but that number has steadily declined each year from 44 in 2008, to 42 each in 2009 and 2010, to 36 in 2011.

And what about Upton's plate discipline? His walks fell to 45 this season from 71 in 2011. That's the second time he has had a drastic drop in walks. Upton fell from 97 in 2008 to 57 in 2009. But, to be fair, you can also note the Virginia native walks jumped from that 57 mark to 67 in 2010 and to 71 in 2011.

On ESPN's Sweetspot blog today, David Schoenfield notes Upton is swinging at a lot more balls outside the strike zone, from 17 percent in 2008 to 30 percent in 2012.

See what I mean? Bossman Junior is a bit sporatic!

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As I finished writing the above post, I noticed a tweet from MLB Network saying it is carrying live the Braves' press conference announcing the Upton signing. Pish posh. (What is it with me and these old school words today?)

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Speaking of the Braves, is there anything more annoying than that stupid tomahawk chop? Yes, yes, I know. I'm a Nationals fan.

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Happy birthday to Vin Scully, who turns 85 today. I could listen to Vin talk about bowel movements, but I'd prefer he didn't. But at his age, bowel movements may be trending pretty high on the list of his daily thoughts and conversations. Heck, I'm 41 and I talk about… never mind.

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I was looking through some old baseball cards the other day and, as I looked at the back of my '58 Topps Pee Wee Reese card, was reminded of the greatness of those old cartoons that once appeared on the backs of ball cards. After doing a little research, I found Jim Caple had written about the subject. Caple's column was published in the summer of 2011, so you may have already read it. But if you're slow getting to things like I can be, here's the link.

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I wrote yesterday in favor of Barry Bonds and Roger Clemens being inducted into the baseball Hall of Fame while at the same time thinking there's no way those two will be going to Cooperstown anytime soon. We've been hearing for years the baseball writers will not vote in Bonds and Clemens with all the suspicions of their performance enhancement drug use. However, it seems a lot of other people, perhaps thinking a little clearer with PEDs not so fresh on our minds, are learning toward inducting the two super star players.

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I was listening to Mike and Mike do a SportsCenter update as I was parking my car at work this morning. At the end of the update, Mike Greenberg mentioned two baseball stories; one was the Upton signing and I forget the other. But it struck me the negativity in which he mentioned those two stories. That seems to happen a lot on ESPN Radio. God forbid there be baseball news in the middle of yet another conversation about elite quarterbacks. Just stick with your Colin Kaepernick / Alex Smith debate, guys. We can find our baseball news elsewhere without hints of disgust.

Let me just say this: I love Mike and Mike. They have an excellent show, but the football talk, and I really like football, tends to be a little over done.

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On the positive side of the talk radio spectrum, I tuned in to WFAN this morning and, here at the end of November, caught a little baseball conversation. That'll happen a lot on WFAN, particularly overnights. Sure, it can be a lot of David Wright contract talk, but it's still baseball talk, and a good alternative when you need a break from ranking the elite QBs.

Jimmy Rollins is Fruits and Nuts

Pardon me, but Jimmy Rollins just made me laugh.

Not the way Eddie Murphy used make me laugh when I'd sneak and listen to "Comedian" while my parents were in another room.

"You don't got no ice cream. You can't afford it…" Remember that?

Hahahahahaha!

No, Jimmy made me laugh like… well, like the eye-rolling laughs I used to have when my buddy Dan would tell me about his many, ahem, encounters with girls when we were in high school.

Now, Jimmy isn't sitting here with me at the palatial 108 Stitches World Headquarters, talking $#!t about how his Philadelphia Phillies are going to dominate the National League East for the foreseeable future.

No, of course he's not here, but he did talk that crazy talk at a charity event Monday.

CSNPhilly.com today has this gem from the Philadelphia short stop:

"It still runs through Philly. [Washington] had one year to win it. It was just like when the Mets took it from Atlanta, it was still up for grabs. I'm sure Atlanta felt it was still theirs, but fortunately we were able to come in and take it the next five years."

Click over and read the entire story. It has a lot of "ifs" and "buts" about how the Phillies could have won the NL East had they remained healthy throughout the season.

Psst!

You know what they say about ifs and buts and fruits and nuts.

Merry Christmas, Jimmy!

No Joshin'

I'm not writing another word about Josh Hamilton.

I'm sick of all the speculation as to what MLB team Hamilton will take his talents too and how much money he will be paid to do so.

Forget it.

If you want Josh Hamilton speculation, you may as well find yourself another lazily-written baseball blog.

I'm tired of the articles pontificating on why, for example, Hamilton is not a great fit for the Orioles and the pros and cons of him joining the Phillies. (As a Nationals fan, I have tons of reasons Hamilton should not go to Philadelphia. Dude, could Phillies be more obnoxious?)

And who ever thought the free agent outfielder would consider playing in Seattle?

As for my two cents, I've been thinking all along Hamilton will sign with the Red Sox... but maybe not. But he will sign with the Red Sox. That's my prediction, and I'm awesome at predictions.

Anyway, who cares about Hamilton? From now on, my fingers will not again touch my laptop keyboard in the order of J-O-S-H—H-A-M-I-L-T-O-N.

Deal or No Deal? Josh Hamilton Edition

Tell me baseball fans, do you really want Josh Hamilton on your team for the contract he reportedly wants?

Seven years, $175 million?

You know I'm a bit of a Nationals fan, and there is a small possibility the Curly Dubs ballclub, striving toward long-term success, could bring the free agent outfielder to the District.

It's a small chance.

It appears the only way the club would sign Hamilton, is if Adam LaRoch moves elsewhere and the Nationals move Michael Morse to first base.

An outfield of Hamilton in left, emerging superstar (fingers crossed) Bryce Harper in center and Jason Werth in right could be a monster. Can you imagine having those three in the batting order?

Bang, zoom go the fireworks!

This past season in Texas, Hamilton hit .285 in 148 games with 43 home runs and 128 RBIs. (Every time I write about RBIs, I hear guys yelling at me: RBIs don't matter. They mattered to Henry Chadwick, dammit. Never mind.). Hamilton also struck out a whopping 162 times last year.

Anyway, the free agent, who won his third Silver Slugger award Thursday, had an excellent season. Some of his numbers were down, like batting average – remember he hit a league-leading .359 in 2010 – and some were up, 43 homers compared with 25 in 2011 and 32 in 2010.

Of course, the home run totals are larger because he played in more games in 2012; 148, versus 121 in 2011 and 133 in 2010.

One of the concerns with signing Hamilton, particularly to a high-dollar, long-term deal, is his durability. Can he stay on the field, whether it be avoiding injuries or, you know, battling past demons, for more than 120-130 games?

Certainly if a general manager is willing to fork over $175 million for seven years to a ballplayer who'll be 32 year old in May, the GM will want to have some assurance Hamilton is going to stay on the field and produce. But those assurances, as you know, don't exist.

Does anyone have Nate Silver's number?

Let's say Hamilton does get a seven-year deal. He'll be 39 when it expires, and it's unlikely he'll be producing numbers worthy of a $175 million contract in years five, six and seven. And who knows how much value he'll have in years three and four, even if he plays 150 games. (I'm 41, and I know, once you hit about 35, the physical stuff doesn’t get easier.)

Still, the thoughts of having Hamilton in the lineup and jacking moon shots is a tantalizing thought for any clubs, and I'm certainly entertaining the prospect if I'm Nationals' General Manager Mike Rizzo or any GM in the majors.

But that big contract – the Nats already are playing Werth and Ryan Zimmerman more than $100 million – is tough to get past.

Look at the situation in New York with the Yankees and Alex Rodriquez.

Sure A-Rod helped the Yanks win a World Series title in '09, but it's been all down hill since. And you know Brian Cashman wants to urinate on his third baseman's contract each time he thinks about having to pay A-Rod to strike out with runners in scoring position for five more years.

Who knows where Hamilton will eventually sign and how much money he'll garner. A number of teams, Nationals, Phillies, Brewers, Orioles and Mariners (ain't happenin') are all in the rumor mill.

So tell me, if you're suddenly named general manager of your favorite MLB team, do you sign Hamilton or do you pass?

If I'm the making the call for the Nationals, I'm passing. I can see this deal going turning sour fast.

And for that much money, give me Zack Grienke.

Bourn to Run to the Nationals?

Hey, Nationals fans, we your team needs a long-term solution in center field, right?

And you know the team, judging by media reports – that's all I have to go on – has been interested in Michael Bourn for a while, going back to before he left the Astros for the Braves.

Well, it seems the Nats are still hot for Bourn. My guy and your guy Jon Heyman of CBSsports.com is saying the Curly Dubs are the favorites to land Bourn, who is now a free agent.

That's no surprise. However, what would surprise me is the Nationals' willingness to spend the – take a deep breath -- $100 million it may take to get Bourn.

Yeah, the Nats have money, but bro, that's a lot of cash.

Bourn hit .348/.391/.739 this year, but you know what I really like about the guy? His speed. His stolen bases were down this year – he had 42 as opposed to 61 in 2011 – but he's always a threat on to swipe a base or two. 

And who knows? Maybe Bourn is the guy stealing bases for the Nats in the World Series next season and getting us all free tacos.

My family is still saying thanks to Angel Pagan for our four tacos, by the way.

What if? World Frankenstorm Series Edition

Remember Nationals fans? Remember Orioles' fans?

Remember how we rooted for a Nats, O's Beltway World Series and then had our dreams ripped to shreds like a hurricane tearing through ballpark made of straw? Remember that?

Take a look at outside right now, and turn on the local weather. Hurricane Sandy is making a mess out there, and Nationals Park and Camden Yards are directly in the path of this Frankenstorm.

Now, had the two teams advance to the World Series and the Nationals swept the Orioles, or, God forbid, the opposite happened, we would have no problem. Otherwise, Game 5 would have been scheduled for tonight in Camden Yards.

No way that game gets played. Just take a look at tonight's National Weather Service forecast for Baltimore:

"Rain. The rain could be heavy at times. Low around 45. Very windy, with a northwest wind 43 to 50 mph, with gusts as high as 75 mph. Chance of precipitation is 100%. New precipitation amounts between 2 and 3 inches possible."    

The Baltimore area remains under a flood watch until Tuesday evening.

By the way, the Orioles' offices are closed today.

Tuesday, an off day in which the Series is supposed move to D.C., doesn't look any better for resuming the Series. So now, if these circumstances were real, we move Game 5 to Wednesday, still in Baltimore. The forecast that night isn't great at the moment, but maybe the game gets played on Halloween night. The O's, playing at home in their black and orange uniforms, have to be the favorites, right?

From Thursday on out, the weather looks nice for the series to progress. That is, if both ballparks are able to withstand those 75 mph wind gusts and not sustain quick-fix damage. Oh, and there's severe flooding. Don't forget the flooding.

Oh, and what if the Yankees bats had awoken and New York was part of the World Series?

Let's don't even go there.

One Week Ago Tonight, Nats Fans…

Tonight at roughly midnight will mark the one-week anniversary, if you will, of the night Nationals fans had their hearts ripped out of their chests and got their Natitude stomped on by a gritty bunch of postseason-savvy Cardinals.

You've read all of the accounts, the woe-is-us stories from Nats fans. And, heck, it's a week later. You know the story, so I'll spare recounting the details.

Baseball is new to D.C. and many Nationals fans are new to the sport. But I have been a baseball fan for the past 34 years, and at no point during the six-run lead was I ever comfortable. How could you rest easy when every time the TV cameras flashed to Gio on the mound, you could, as members of the Cardinals would say later, see the fear in Gio's eyes?

Holy cow, that was rough night. And baseball will do that to you. There's no clock to watch countdown, hoping it hits zero before your team loses its grip. Before they snatch defeat from the jaws for victory.

You just have to sit there and watch, with no foreseeable end. Watch as the other team, having done this sort of thing before, chips and chips away. Someone said this week, it's like having your head cut off with a toothpick. That's a little drastic. It's just baseball, after all, but you get the point.

Man Crush

Man, I love watching Bryce Harper play baseball. He attacks the game the way I attack buffets. If you missed it last night, Harper was once again fearless and aggressive on the base paths, scoring from third on a weak ground ball pack to the pitcher. You have to wonder how sustainable his style is, but we'll worry about the future in the future. For now, I'm buying my son a Washington Nationals Harper 34 jersey. And maybe one for me, too.

I can't embed the video, but you can see the play at this link.

Adam Kilgore of The Washington Post penned a great description of Harper's Thursday night base running prowess:

"Ryan Zimmerman followed and tapped a dribbler to the left of the mound, which [Justin] Germano fielded. Just off third base, Harper froze as Germano looked him back. Germano, satisfied Harper would behave like the other 99 percent of major league baserunners, turned his back and threw to first. Harper did not behave like other major league baserunners. He did not take two quiet steps back to third base. He ran like the fastest kid in Little League, the one who runs until he is tagged out and makes other parents want to look at his birth certificate. He ran like someone dared him to. Harper darted, hell-bent for home."